A very good friend of mine, lets call her Mrs X, finds herself stuck in the same crappy ‘root and boot’ situation with the same shit guy that isn’t that great at sex who is just the fallback for comfort and the opportunity to say we got laid.
First problem, nowhere near enough self respect to walk away. But what I believe to be her biggest problem is the lack of B.O.B in her life and I’m not talking about the acclaimed musician who came up with that fucking annoying aeroplanes song, I’m talking about my best friend, Bob, my battery operated boyfriend.
Ladies, I know this can be a bit of an uncomfortable topic of conversation, but come on! We are young independent women! Now, I’m no expert, but the day I bought my first ‘jack rabbit’, was the glorious and liberating day I found it a lot easier to turn down the ‘hopeless-sex addict-anal obsessed-never goes down on me-still lives with his parents, douchebag. I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m all about efficiency. Sex releases endorphins FACT. Now the same endorphins can be released via an orgasm with or without the presence of another person. Therefore ‘me time’ makes me happy. Additionally, that once wasted time bonking the same useless twat, can now be spent looking for your very Prince Charming, while simultaneously pleasuring your own sexual desires independently.
Not only does B.O.B save you from the douchebags and multiple FAKE orgasms, but B.O.B can also help you explore your own sexuality and what you like down there in your very Pandora’s box. It’s like a maze down there, how can someone else expect to navigate their way around, when you, yourself have no clue as to where the notorious G spot lays.
Ladies of my sisterhood I beg you, venture down to your closest sexy land or club x, have a browse, make an investment, and investment in the future of your vagina. Light some scented candles, close your door, and slip into some much needed, what I like to refer to as ‘me time’. Don’t get me wrong I’m not encouraging scrapping sex from the menu completely, hell no! Just letting you know there are a whole world of options out there to explore rather than a whole world of hopeless-sex addict-anal obsessed-never goes down on me-still lives with his parents, douchebags.